I lost to myself

Woi !!! Carolyn !! 起来！！！ wake up !! Bangun !! Hapus ur naive thinking, b more reality.
I said b4 rite dat i nd to change. Y am I not doin it? Care bout ppl? not worth ! Y am I so silly??

Do u heard b4 dat" traet sum1 the way that you want them 2 treat you"?
Do u tink ppl will reali treat you as how u treated them? The ans from me is 99.9 % NO. How bout u all? Last time my ans was yes, but all this is juz silly and naive thinking. Another word, Stupid. So, silly,naive n stupid is my thinking.
Poem simply created wan (nt poem act, duno wat is dat, wrg format, undetectable language)

Why? Why?
So silly me?
He/she wouldn't care, wil not care
how much i care
Im ain't sensitive but is what i feel 2nd
Im nt a sun dat ppl can see
Im just a wind that is invisible
I've nvr regret being a wind
though is oweys hurtful
Finding the right person to blow on.
And I found,
The 1 who can feel my presence,nvr take my presence 4 granted
Nvr to those hu r feelingLESS...

Fuiyoh !! Poem ! I cant "haha" edi.. Now i feel I lost in the race. In the past , I can achieve anythin which i determine 2 do. But, now im announcing that I fail 2 do so. I lost ! I lost to no one, but myself. Lost to the past me, Lost to Carolyn. Im still struggling to win the upcoming matches. I want to beat the past me. I still hv a little faith in myself. With sum1's great advice, i may b able 2 do so. I cant afford 2 lose again.